Yesterday evening Zander told me, "Mom, the babies in your scomach died and we cried. You shouldn't of let those babies in your scomach die - go get some more?" I've already struggled - and taken captives the thoughts that threaten to overwhelm. Mother's Day: "What kind of a mother are YOU - you can't even keep your baby safe?" But I know to react calmly to little ones questions - they are simply processing the situation as best they can. We talked. I didn't cry.
Then we went out to eat and there was a tiny baby fussing at the table next to us. Stacia was fascinated and went to visit. They turned the seat so she could watch. She loved it. She cooed and was sweetness itself (shew)! ::snort::They had named their baby a name I was hoping to use this time. It made me sad.
At home I had a message from PBS that a book I'd auto requested was on it's way to me: Supernatural Childbirth.
After everyone else was asleep I spent some time alone, praying. I cried. I reminded myself that Paul said he'd LEARNED to be content. I taught myself a few things I'd taught before. Being a Bible Teacher is so much fun - those words are always rattling around in my head somewhere. Honestly, it IS a blessing. {G} I chose again (and will do it repeatedly, as often as necessary) to be content, to be satisfied with this season of life, to recognize that my Shepherd leads and in short - to choose joy once again. Deliberately and repeatedly.
Maybe you are walking through a tough situation....one of those that doesn't naturally lead to joy and contentment. Even though your situation is totally different than mine - the lessons are the same. He leads. He's to be trusted. We have to repeatedly choose to rest contentedly. We have to deliberately and repeatedly choose to handle our trials in the way he Has instructed us. I picture handing the pain/trial/circumstance to him and telling him to squeeze every last drop of learning he has for me out of the thing before we move on.....maybe that way I'll be here less often. Or I can learn deeper lessons during the next trial?
Then we went out to eat and there was a tiny baby fussing at the table next to us. Stacia was fascinated and went to visit. They turned the seat so she could watch. She loved it. She cooed and was sweetness itself (shew)! ::snort::They had named their baby a name I was hoping to use this time. It made me sad.
At home I had a message from PBS that a book I'd auto requested was on it's way to me: Supernatural Childbirth.
After everyone else was asleep I spent some time alone, praying. I cried. I reminded myself that Paul said he'd LEARNED to be content. I taught myself a few things I'd taught before. Being a Bible Teacher is so much fun - those words are always rattling around in my head somewhere. Honestly, it IS a blessing. {G} I chose again (and will do it repeatedly, as often as necessary) to be content, to be satisfied with this season of life, to recognize that my Shepherd leads and in short - to choose joy once again. Deliberately and repeatedly.
Maybe you are walking through a tough situation....one of those that doesn't naturally lead to joy and contentment. Even though your situation is totally different than mine - the lessons are the same. He leads. He's to be trusted. We have to repeatedly choose to rest contentedly. We have to deliberately and repeatedly choose to handle our trials in the way he Has instructed us. I picture handing the pain/trial/circumstance to him and telling him to squeeze every last drop of learning he has for me out of the thing before we move on.....maybe that way I'll be here less often. Or I can learn deeper lessons during the next trial?
5 comments:
sis:
Oh the sweetness and innocence of children. We really wanted to call you last night just to visit. We missed you a lot. But instead we just thought about you, talked about you and prayed for you. Wish we would have called.
Again our arms of love and prayer are wrapped around you.
l/p
When's mothers day???
Josiah
What a hoot - Josiah read the above and worried that he'd missed Mother's Day. ::snort:: MEN!
Wow...
I praise you for meeting Alexander where he's at. What a wonderful reflection of our Lord who mercifully meets us where we're at.
*I picture handing the pain/trial/circumstance to him and telling him to squeeze every last drop of learning he has for me out of the thing before we move on.....maybe that way I'll be here less often.*
This is an excellent verbal visual for me. I want to remember this one and also hope to "be here less often."
Thank you for sharing a painful, poignant mothering moment.
Love ya, praying for you.
I have considered a lot lately the fact that our earth time is short compared to what awaits us.
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