Thursday, February 02, 2006

Mock Funeral

There was no funeral.
No flowers.
No Ceremony.
No one had died.
No weeping or wailing.
Just in my heart.
I can’t…
But I did anyway,
And nobody knew I couldn’t.
I don’t want to…
But nobody else said they didn’t.
So I put down my panic
And picked up my luggage
And got on the plane.
There was no funeral.

“Mock Funeral” by Alex Graham James

THIS describes so many plane trips in my childhood but mostly the one that took me from the Philippines for the last time to “home” – America.

I’ve finished reading “Third Culture Kids” by David C. Pollock and Ruth E. Van Reken. This book is about people who have lived in a “culture other than their parents during their developmental years”. I had thought I had “no issues” from my childhood but I realize I probably do. Basically, I’ve refused to dwell in the past and be a “maladjusted MK”. {G} I’ve realized it’s o.k. to grieve now for the continual gain/loss cycle that is inherent in the missionary lifestyle. I realize that it’s OK to admit that we lost out on some important things. That doesn’t change the importance of what was accomplished or the depth of the friendships and memories from boarding school.

Some other thoughts I had while reading this book: Military children are certainly classified in the book as “Third Culture Kids”. The chapel could do more to create the “alternate culture” for these kids. I can do more to help my children in this lifestyle.

With the high divorce rates I think more and more children are experiencing many of the things that typically characterized “Third Culture Kids”.

I recommend this book to anyone who grew up as a TCK or to anyone who is a parent of military children. Yes, my copy is well-marked. {G}