Courageous Joy

WHY DO I POST THE BAD STUFF????

This may be hard to put into words. I grew up in a pastor's family. I went to high school at a boarding school for missionary kids. I married a pastor. I'm now a Chaplain/officer's wife...all these things have an "expected image"...pastor/missionary kid, pastor's wife, officer's wife....and God cured me long ago of trying to keep everyone happy. I've learned, through the school of hard knocks, that its impossible to please everyone...therefore, the best thing to do is make sure HE is pleased with me. Along with that came freedom....I don't have to prove anything to anyone...I simply need to walk in obedience. It's more than enough for HIM to be pleased with me....and frankly I care more about his displeasure than anyone elses.

I've realized, from teaching women's groups and mentoring various ones, that it is very common for us to want to find someone who "has it together" and put them on a pedestal. This always leads to pain and disappointment. None of us are worthy of living on a pedestal and frankly, it isn't a comfortable spot to be.

So one reason I share the bad/tough/not so perfect moments of my life is to be real. I simply wasn't good at the "image"...but I'm great at loving Jesus and loving others. LOL If you know the REAL me - I believe you will see MORE of the work of Grace in my life.....in other words if you think I'm always saintly....you will believe a lie. Second, several have emailed to say that you see me as some sort of mentor.....well....it wouldn't be fair of me to portray a life where I easily choose joy at each moment, my children are perfectly behaved, my 12 year old is accepted to Harvard, I cook nutritious from scratch meals 3x a day....you may then try to live up to a false image. I shudder to think that anyone would attempt to grow into my image.....we want to grow into HIS image....and when you see how it is possible to struggle and STILL follow hard after Him, to fall and get back up, to face fears and learn to choose joy....then God is able to take the tough times in my life and use them for good in other's lives...then I'm showing you something real and something of worth.

I share the pain of having grown children leave home because if I painted it rosy...and you expect to hit that phase and sail through it "like De'Etta did"....without knowing that I experienced incredible pain at the separation, and had to discipline myself to choose joy in the situation....well now...what sort of mentor would I be?

If I present perfect schooling....and you decide to homeschool without realizing that some days are frankly fairly ugly...what sort of a mentor am I?

Please, don't be alarmed when I share the bad or the ugly.....Of course, I'm careful. I certainly don't want to share other's ugliness....or gossip...or betray the trust of my family...but within those guidelines, I try to be real, authentic....bumps, bruises, warts and all.

So there you go....why I would share the bad stuff in such a public forum. If you hang out with me for any length of time I won't be able to keep that "image" thing going anyway - we may as well have fun, while we learn to be "real" with each other. LOL